New Beginning

My cute snowmen!

I survived 12/21/2012! Just joking. I never believed in that. Regardless of that myth, Christmas is over and New Year is coming. What does this mean? It's time to make a new goals list that we probably won't follow and end up ignoring again. Well, as much as I like to joke about that, it's probably true to most of us. So how do we motivate ourselves to follow that list? As a college student, it is a bit hard to find motivation to keep working without feeling like a robot or a number among many. In these situations, I "look back." I have to thank Christmas for this. After the Christmas family reunion, I realized what my parents tried teaching me a while back.

Why do we work so hard? What motivates us to keep moving on? Answer: the next generation. I saw my younger cousins, what used to be my younger self. We all work to help the next generation, to provide and keep improving society. As I watch my younger cousins playing my PS3, I can't help but wanting to spoil them even though they sometimes create trouble for me. Many times we have to look back to see how far we have gotten to motivate us to move forward. We don't want our sacrifices to go in vain nor do we want to give up our pride and give up. So we keep moving forward, continue hoping that something good would come out of our hard work. If it doesn't come in great scale such as affecting society, at least we are saving up to provide our future selves and our descendants (if we have any) a more comfortable living. Never forget what we work for. 

Holiday #2.5: Catching up with time

Oh my goodness? When is the last time I had an entry? It has been 2 weeks but it feels like years. Anyways, sorry for my late entry again. A week ago, I had my finals and this coming Friday, I'm having another big exam that might influence my life forever. With so many things happening in my life, I'm starting to question my effort. I have been studying for quite some time towards my goal in the medical field. However, after each college year, I feel less motivated than I was the year before. Usually I am very artistic. Every week I would draw a picture or every few months I would post an artwork on my Deviantart account. However, I haven't touched that account for almost a year and I am constantly having the artist's block to make a new artwork (although they are not the best to begin with). I feel my account is being neglected at the moment. Either way, I have been noticing my "character" to be less human and more robotic. Each day is like a constant routine to me now. Either I go to school and study or I play video games on free times. Since I play video games, shouldn't I still have some artistic character left? I thought that could be it several years ago. Sadly no since I am playing a product of someone else's imagination instead of creating a product of my own. It's like my imagination became linear, following the creator's art instead of spreading like branches on a tree. I can't think beyond the creator's art, only within it. As an artist, it feels disgraceful when one merely copies another person's art due to lack of motivation.

This lack of creativity seems to correlate with my motivation. So now my question is this: is there really a job I can be passionate in? With the economy today, is a passionate job a good gamble compared to a well-paying (or even stable) job? The answer is not easy to come by. I am okay with the career I'm working for. However, to say I'm passionate about it is a lie. I never seem to remember doing something that I'm passionate about, to do something that you are happy doing regardless you get paid or not. So while I'm trying to answer my own questions, I remembered something simple, something I almost forgot and couldn't stand forgetting. It's December. The month of joy. The month of giving. The month of Christmas. From there, I decided to set my questions aside and remember what I listed in my Thanksgiving thankful list. I have my family and my friends. People who see me not as a number but as a person in this world. I may not be as motivated as before but I hope they will be my motivation to move forward, as far as I can until I find my own passion in life. Always remember what you have because that may be your motivation to live on.

Out of all this, there is a song that came out around this time last year that reminded me of what is important. So I share with you what I always listen to regain my motivation in life. And just in case I can't make it back for Christmas, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

How do you know you're old?

Age. Something we keep track of each year yet at some point, we started not caring about it anymore. We stopped thinking about it and continued on with our work life, thinking the people and environment around us stays the same. Well, at least that is what I am experiencing. Just one week ago was my cousin's birthday. Because we live in two different cities and our age difference is by eight years, it is easy for me to just see her as a child, forever younger than me. That is until one week ago when I realized she turned thirteen. She is finally a teenager which leaves me feeling older than I thought I was. I always pictured her as that young little girl with pigtails and a pink tutu. Now she is heading towards high school. Time flies really fast. I felt somewhat upset that there are many things occurring and I didn't take the time to stop and enjoy it. Another time I realized I was older is when I watch one of my favorite popstar Britney Spears. I rarely see her new music videos. Her first three albums are what I usually listen to. However, I just watched her latest video with Will. I. Am. ("Scream and Shout") and discovered that not only is Britney no longer a young adult, she really look like a full grown woman. Now I'm not trying to say she looks wrinkly and old. She isn't but she no longer is the young big smile teen I knew before. She's growing old. I'm growing old too. It really is a small shock how much time has passed. So what does this mean? It means we need to make more memorable moments. We need to sometimes drop our work and just enjoy life (or at least go out and realized what's outside our windows). I'm currently in my last year of college. After this, I will have to start working. True, I need to worry about building up my applications either for a job or graduate school, but I'm also spending extra time with friends. Live life while we still have the energy (and money) to do so. 

Pets #1: Meet NiNi

Pets are adorable little things. It doesn't matter if you love pets now or not. You can't deny that there is one point in your life, you actually considered in getting a pet. Now this is my little bundle of joy. His name is NiNi. I know what you are thinking. Who in the right mind name a male bunny NiNi? Give me a minute to explain. My little furball was supposed to be a female (or at least I wanted a female). However, the original owner wasn't very good at determining the gender of her rabbits (which is how she ended up with a big litter to begin with). I accepted and named the rabbit NiNi originally thinking he was a female. That is until puberty hits. By then, my poor bunny already responds to the name and it was hard to train him into another name after that.

Anyways, pets are a great companion if you don't like (or don't have) kids. Sometimes it is nice to come home to meet a cute companion instead of an empty house. And if you do have children, having a pet is a great way to teach them about responsibility. So if you plan to have a pet, don't just love them because you think they are cute. My NiNi grew up to look quite different (no photo available yet) but I still love him. My cute little furball. :3 

Holiday #2: To be thankful for a thankful holiday

I'm sorry for disappearing for two weeks. I had two big Thanksgiving events for each week to prepare for. With college and two events to deal with, I didn't have the time to type anything. Now that Thanksgiving is over, I can get back to my regular schedule.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I find the time of this holiday to be quite interesting. Everyone knows Thanksgiving occurs before Christmas, and most importantly before Black Friday. Thanksgiving is a holiday for being thankful for the things we have yet the next day everyone is clawing for the best deals in stores. Some even buy things that they probably won't ever need. Did everyone forget what they just said they were thankful for the day before? I'm not trying to say we can't want things. In fact, I bet there a lot of people who understands what I'm actually saying. But for those who don't often think about this idea, remember to want and buy modestly. The last thing everyone wants is to waste more money on the day that was create to help us save.

Night of the Living Dead

Zombies, zombies, zombies! Who has never heard about them and their cause? Whether it is caused by radiation, disease, or black magic, we all can't deny we have a subconscious fear of the dead rising to life. With all this zombie talk, one can't help but wonder what zombies might be like if they do exist. From all the zombie movies I have watched so far (not so many if you are a zombie fan), I have a good picture on what I don't want from a zombie.

#1: Fast Running zombies

I realized that we all feel safe because we assume zombies can't run. I had that idea too until I watched Zombieland. Although that movie itself doesn't scare me, the zombies themselves were enough to knock my soul out of my body. I myself am a very slow runner and seeing how there's a chance that zombies can run fast, it really taught me to keep my cardio up. I don't like to exercise really but this movie reminded me how life still follows the rule of "survival of the fittest." Want to survive in a zombie apocalypse? Learn to run.

#2: Clubbing zombies

No, I don't mean clubbing as in going into a dance club. I rather deal with Michael Jackson's "Thriller" zombies any day over this type of zombie. When I say clubbing zombies, I meant zombies who know how to use clubs and rocks as weapons. It may be a rare idea. The zombies we know in our current era usually use their teeth and bodies to attack, infecting their prey to be one of them. Not to mention power in numbers, it's almost like one ant fighting another ant colony by himself. However, once I watched Night of the Living Dead (1968), it really got me thinking. That was the first time I saw zombies' using table legs and rocks as clubs. There was even a small scene in the beginning of the movie where the zombie seems to know how to open the car door (although the scene is debatable since the door was locked and never opened). Still the concept was stuck in my brain. Think about it. The movie may only show zombies' using clubs but what if they can use other weapons. What if they know how to open doors properly? That is some scary shit. I just pray zombies don't learn how to use guns.

Holiday #1.5: This is Halloween...

Sorry for posting up one day late but hey, yesterday was Halloween. What else would I be doing? This Halloween, I think it was not the most eventful but I have the most successful costume. After many years of planning and searching (and procrastinating), I finally got the costume I wanted. It was a very interesting adventure looking for all the parts. Make-up was easy. The wig was not so bad. However, the dress was an ironic obstacle. For many years, I have been trying to find a long white plain dress. Doesn't sound that hard, right? I thought so too but once you become an adult... every costume that is sold, for some odd reason, is quite "naughty." I don't want that. I just want a plain dress, as if it is from the hospital. Trying alternatives such as angel or ghoul costumes, every costume was "naughty." I was about to give up when a good friend of mine found exactly what I was looking for. Thanks to her, now my costume is complete. So, what are your Halloween adventures?

Sadako Yamamura

Happy Halloween!

My phone is a good size

So several months ago, my dad bought me a Samsung Galaxy Note. He wanted to buy something for me that may assist me for my future job (what ever that may be). He offered that I either take an Ipad 2 or the Galaxy Note. Now I understand many people would argue whether the Galaxy Note or the Ipad 2 was a better choice. Sadly, I didn't care that time. My old cellphone was lagging at a horrible rate. I couldn't even text back my friends on time. If you are stuck between getting a phone or a tablet and your old cellphone sucked, why wouldn't you take the new phone?

So after I got my lovely Galaxy Note, I was bombarded with questions by friends and sometimes strangers. One in particular that was constantly asked was: "Isn't that phone a bit big?"  It is true that this phone is a lot bigger than my previous one. My previous phone was not much bigger than the size of my palm. It took some time getting used to the drastic change in size but honestly, I think the size is fine. Has anyone seen the old mobile phones before the 1990s? Now those are huge mobile phones and all they do is make phone calls. Those things are like bricks! No GPS, no music players, no internet, no text. If you check even older ones, they are so big, it is like carrying a payphone. I'm not saying they were useless because those phones are what led to our cellphones today. I really appreciate that. However, because of their size, I can never say that my current phone is too big. Not only is my current phone a tad bit shorter than my hand (by a few millimeters), it is a smartphone. It is literally my personal digital assistant (PDA, does anyone still use that term today?). While some of people may complain about its size, I'm just laughing how phone design are going back in time, growing larger instead of smaller. If the size is such a problem, just go use Bluetooth.

Riddle #1

Sometimes I find or hear riddles that are really amusing to me. So I wish to share them to as many people as possible.

When you need it, you throw it away. When you don't need it, you want it back. What is it? (It's a tangible object)

Answer: Anchor

Childhood #1: Happy Unbirthday

Sorry for the late post. I wasn't in good condition to type up anything yesterday. Rest assure, I'm feeling better now.

I wish I was in elementary school again. From what I remembered, I wasn't really stressed or depressed in anyway back then. There were many good memories. One awesome one was how my younger sister and I can have fun with almost anything we find. In one case, we took a shoe box and flipped it over so it would be standing on its cover. Then we stick small screwdrivers into the gap between the lid and the box. What does it become? In our eyes, it was suppose to be a birthday cake. We cheer "Happy Birthday" to each other even though it wasn't really anyone's birthday. Of course, we didn't keep it. The box and the screwdrivers were returned to my dad. None the less, it was a funny and creative moment.

Apartment mate #2: The fuse box is not a toy.

It is really awkward. I never thought this is a special skill in any case. The ability to understand how a fuse box works is not that special, is it? I was in the bathroom doing my business. The only thing on are the lights. No hair dryers. No hair straighteners. Just the lights. Out of the blue, the lights went out. I wasn't mad but I wasn't exactly happy. I quickly finished my business and went downstairs to check the fuse box. How else would the electricity not work when it's switched on? To my surprise, the fuse box was open. Now my bathroom was the only switch that was stuck in the middle. For people who never see the fuse box (ever), when the black switch is in the middle, it means the fuse detect high current usage through the system and the fuse shuts itself off to prevent burning/overheating the fuse. I thought this was common knowledge. Anyways I disregarded the switch. Other than the fact that the box was wide open, it looked like a regular shut off. I just turned it back on. It wasn't until later did I heard a funny story from my sister about our apartment mate Wavy. Apparently, Wavy's room was shut off due to her high usage of electricity. It doesn't really matter to me since I did that a few times myself. Just be careful next time. That's what I always say. However, Wavy doesn't know how to use the fuse box (to my surprise, since she's an engineer major). So to solve her problem, she called up the technician for help. At the end, she ended up using her whole palm of her hand and switched several switches off and on. It wasn't one switch at a time. No. It was using your whole hand and randomly moving switches left and right. This screwed up almost half the electronics in the apartment, including the microwave and everyone's internet excess.

I don't understand. Is using the fuse box that hard? Or is it really a special skill? I'm not an electronics expert but I know how it works. At least I know it's not safe to just randomly moving switches in hope to fix the problem. I really question how my "lovely" apartment mate thinks. 

Holiday #1: Monsters, Witches and Ghouls! Oh my!

Halloween is coming soon! The holiday of diabetes from candies and heart attacks from frights! A time to talk about what we want to dress up as and what we're really afraid of! Who doesn't love Halloween?

Halloween is not really a holiday my family would celebrate. However, giving out candy to cute little trick-or-treaters was something we don't want to miss out. It was always adorable to see the smiles on little children. (Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think those cute little smiles are family's weakness.) Anyways, one can't go through Halloween and give out treats without following the real deal of the holiday: dressing up. Ever since 1st grade, I dress up as a witch. It's a decent costume and anyone can look fine in. Of course I got tired of it for a while and tried other costumes, but the witch costume always remain as back up.

Halloween is definitely a holiday based on fun, at least in today's society. Now I understand there must be some crazy serious history behind this holiday, but it will be hard to find people who doesn't celebrate this holiday just for candy, fun, and frights. In my opinion, Halloween is the only time where everyone can literally be anyone. Everyone gets to act childish for one night before ultimately falling back into reality.

What's your favorite Halloween memory?

Friends #1: They come and go

One thing I learned from my experience is that friends come and go easily. A person who you might think would be your best friend for life can be an acquaintance the next year. It is not easy to learn this if you were in the same group of friends for several years. It wasn't easy for me, especially when social networks were not well known back then. Email was the common medium.

The first time I learn this was back in Asia. I had many good friends. Everyone would go to each others' birthday parties. The same group of friends would always be seen together, changing games every once in a while during recess. Everything seem static. However, by sixth grade, my family decided to move to the United States. Obviously I was very young. Young enough to not understand or adapt easily to change. Not old enough to not care about "fitting in." Emailing was the only well-known way to stay in touch. Blogs were easy to keep update on other friends' life but not easy to communicate with. So I lose touch with my elementary friends quite quickly. 

It was middle school, a time when many preteens started to learn their own identity. While everyone cares about who likes who, or who did what, I only cared about finding people to fill in the loneliness. It wasn't easy to find new friends while missing the old ones, especially if one of them was a best friend. Fortunately, I found very nice friends in middle school. Sadly, that came to an end again when I moved to another city for high school. Now we're not talking about one city away. We're talking about a whole new county away. It was almost impossible to make time to chat with my old friends. Instant messengers were convenient for a certain extent until everyone became too busy to stay online. So I ended up with new high school friends. 

Of course we understand high school. It's a time when a student doesn't have to have the exact same class or teacher with another student. So the classmates usually change every year. I hung out with a certain group one year but I would hung out with another group the next. Fortunately, high school wasn't too big so many circles of friends overlap one another. It was easy to stay in touch with a friend who may not be in any of my classes. Soon enough college applications came along. The idea of losing my friends hit me once again. Many people ask me already. Why must I sound so depressing? If I put effort, wouldn't I be able to stay in touch with them? Actually I tried. However, being an introvert doesn't help. I'm not a party type and sadly my friends were so that's when we slowly drift apart.

Good news: I made friends in college. Sad news: it's my senior year. So that whole idea is coming back to me again. So why am I talking about this? Friends come and go. And many times, I feel depress when I lost contact with someone. There comes a time when I feel jealous of others who seem to be able to stay in touch with someone for so many years. However, no matter how sad I get, I can't help remembering all the happy moments I have with my old friends. True, they're no longer my friends but the memories still remain. I remember the time when I danced the chicken dance with a friend just to attract people to join our club. There was also a time when I played Dungeons and Dragons and I learned how complicated that game is. The funniest moment (according to a friend) was when I made a mistake in my lab, and I used foul language. Everyone was surprised to know I used such word in public (I usually use them in private). It was just shocking to them. Maybe I'm just unlucky that my old friends and I don't keep in touch as much as I like, but it only makes my memories seem more special. So even though you don't know if your friends will stay with you, you should always try to spend time with time, treasure every moment. They won't stay with you, but they make your life exciting and beautiful.

By the way, I actually am still in contact with a few high school friends. Although a majority of them don't talk to me anymore, a few still talk to me now and then. For that, thank you guys for putting up with my introversion. I could never have wish for better friends. 

Apartment mates #1: Tape fixes everything??

Did you ever have an apartment mate that you find troublesome? No let's revise that question. Did you ever have an apartment mate that you know will be troublesome even though you guys haven't live together for more than two months?

I did. And every day I pray that I was wrong. That I'm just over thinking and this one person is actually better than I thought she would be. I have an apartment mate (Let's call her Wavy) and she is... not exactly my cup of coffee. She is pretty. I don't really know what is actually "beautiful" in a guy's perspective but if she can get a modeling job and a boyfriend, I assume she's beautiful. She got a decent GPA in college. Heck if she can get a decent GPA, she must be smart in some ways. Plus she's majoring in engineer. Obviously she seems like a decent apartment mate right?

Oh my goodness, was I wrong. It started with a few dirty dishes in the sink and dirty stove tops. Okay, it's fine. I'll work around it. We can't all expect our apartment mates to meet our cleaning standards. Besides, we're not sharing plates and pans. If she doesn't clean her dishes, she'll just have to deal with having no clean dishes to eat with. Then she invites her boyfriend over almost every single day. Well, I locked my bedroom door. Plus I would want to be with my boyfriend as much as possible if I had one. I'll let that go too.

Then one day, Wavy knocked on my door and asked for help. Of course I would help. Who wouldn't? Apparently, she broke her hair straightener. Oh well, we can always find a way to fix it. I mean, we're college students in science majors. Plus she's an engineer major. No big. When Wavy took out her hair straightener, there was tape around it. What? So the metal plate on the device got loose and now it's dangling out of the device. However the device still works perfectly. So what did Wavy do? She tried fixing by wrapping tape around the metal plate to the device. Umm.... you are an engineer major right?  First of all, I don't think you want to use that device on your hair if you plan to keep that tape. Second, do you actually think tape will fix something like a hot metal plate?  Okay I'm not that smart. I suggested to her to use industrial glue but because I'm not sure if that's the correct choice, I also suggested to buy a new straightener. Ironically, Wavy thinks the tape would work fine and should not be a problem. Eh?! Really? I don't really know if this is common sense so I just leave her with whatever she thinks. Now this is just the first case. I will share a few more that occurred another time. 

So from what I just mentioned, am I wrong to think this woman is troublesome? This occurred within one month after she moved into the apartment and I don't know if I am frustrating myself for no reason. Share your opinion if you like. 

Inspiration: To The Moon

So why the title "Always Remember" ? And why the description? It seems quite obvious. I want to remember thoughts and moments in my life. Sadly, my brain is not that good with details and I do tend to forget things easily. So exactly why this theme you ask again?

Let me introduce you to a video game that brought up this whole blogging/memory idea. It's called To The Moon. It is a short PC game about two doctors whose job is to create artificial memories for the dying patient. The dying patient can call on these doctors to fulfill his or her last wish. The doctors then rearrange the patient's memories so his or her last wish is fulfilled (in the virtual world). In this episode, the patient wants to go to the moon so the doctors travel in his memory to let him go to the moon by any means necessary.

It may seem like a simple puzzle game. However the message of the story is very deep. The first time I heard  about this game, it was rumored that every single person that played it had cried. I got curious about how such a video game can actually bring such emotions. What did I do? I went cheap (sorry guys). I decided to watch the walkthrough on Youtube. Sadly, I can't deny that the game brought me to tears. It made me realize that memories are what makes life special. It makes us who we are today. For this reason, I titled this blog based on that game. It is to remind me (and hopefully you) that our goals are all similar. However, the goal is not worth it without its obstacles. That's why every once in a while, it is good to just look back and appreciate what we gain.

Here's the link to the game's website: http://freebirdgames.com/to_the_moon/

If you played (or watched :P) this game, I hope you feel the same way too. If you haven't, I highly recommend you at least watch the walkthrough online. It is $12 for download. I know the puzzles seem boring but the story is worth it. I definitely look forward to the sequel and will purchase it if I have enough to spare (I'm on a serious tight budget as a college student). There are no updates on it yet so we'll just have to wait on that.

Introducing Me

Hi everyone.

As you may have already read the intro letter on the left (if not, I recommend it), I am blogging about my personal thoughts. I understand. You might be thinking, "that's the whole purpose of blogging." Please bear with me. I'm an amateur blogger. This is not necessarily my first blog but it is my first SERIOUS blog. I'm still learning about the purpose of blogging.

So let me tell you my history on blogging. My first blog was on Xanga back in elementary school. It wasn't really the best idea ever. First of all, I disliked the idea of how anybody can read my personal blog (I didn't know there was a privacy setting back then). Second, that time I felt there's no need to have one. However, it was somewhat like a social norm. Almost all my friends have one so I thought of getting one. Thus, my first blog was born. Because I don't really have much personal problems or any thoughts at all, I often post song lyrics I liked and wish to share. Sometimes I include the song playing in the background. There were times I even posted up Bible verses. It wasn't exactly meaningful in anyway. By the end of middle school, that blog was left untouched.

Now I'm in college. I'm a full adult and I even keep a personal journal. I also do have a Facebook account (who doesn't now a days?). However, I am one of my few friends who never updates my FB account nor blogs anything. Statuses are nice but it doesn't allow me to type much. Also I dislike the note section on FB. However, there are times I do want to post up ideas and I want people to comment on it. So this is why I started this blog and disabled my Xanga (I feel ashamed for my horrible blog that time). Overall, I wish to find a place where I can type a whole idea and get some of your thoughts on it.

Enough with my history, let me tell you about myself. As you can tell, I'm a college student and a christian. Don't worry, I will not be posting up Bible verses or forcing you to convert. I have many friends say I'm nice although I never say I was myself. There are times when they say I'm even a pushover or a good listener. Sadly, all that silence and niceness doesn't mean I don't have thoughts or a voice. I spent most of my time watching Youtube videos, checking out Facebook, reading manga, and even playing online games. If I'm off the computer, I'm usually watching television or playing video games. Well, that sounds interesting. I sound as though I have no life. Don't worry my dear readers. When I'm not doing any of those things, I'm usually either reading a book, drawing a sketch, or evaluating my life events. Yes, I evaluate them. Whenever I get into an argument or even a normal social event, I look back and think about my actions. I usually do this almost every night before bed. In my opinion, this procedure is what allows me to be in good terms with my friends. You will be surprise when you think back to a memory and ask "why did I do that?".

Okay, by now, you should be able to get a small glimpse on my personality. I'm a introvert and a pacifist. Is there anything else to know about me? I leave that for you to decide. Right now I'm not even sure if anyone is reading this blog but I guess if you are here, you must be reading this. And that is one other person. For that, I thank you. I hope this blog will go well. Also I'm sorry for the long entry. I promise to try to keep it short next time.