New Beginning

My cute snowmen!

I survived 12/21/2012! Just joking. I never believed in that. Regardless of that myth, Christmas is over and New Year is coming. What does this mean? It's time to make a new goals list that we probably won't follow and end up ignoring again. Well, as much as I like to joke about that, it's probably true to most of us. So how do we motivate ourselves to follow that list? As a college student, it is a bit hard to find motivation to keep working without feeling like a robot or a number among many. In these situations, I "look back." I have to thank Christmas for this. After the Christmas family reunion, I realized what my parents tried teaching me a while back.

Why do we work so hard? What motivates us to keep moving on? Answer: the next generation. I saw my younger cousins, what used to be my younger self. We all work to help the next generation, to provide and keep improving society. As I watch my younger cousins playing my PS3, I can't help but wanting to spoil them even though they sometimes create trouble for me. Many times we have to look back to see how far we have gotten to motivate us to move forward. We don't want our sacrifices to go in vain nor do we want to give up our pride and give up. So we keep moving forward, continue hoping that something good would come out of our hard work. If it doesn't come in great scale such as affecting society, at least we are saving up to provide our future selves and our descendants (if we have any) a more comfortable living. Never forget what we work for. 

Holiday #2.5: Catching up with time

Oh my goodness? When is the last time I had an entry? It has been 2 weeks but it feels like years. Anyways, sorry for my late entry again. A week ago, I had my finals and this coming Friday, I'm having another big exam that might influence my life forever. With so many things happening in my life, I'm starting to question my effort. I have been studying for quite some time towards my goal in the medical field. However, after each college year, I feel less motivated than I was the year before. Usually I am very artistic. Every week I would draw a picture or every few months I would post an artwork on my Deviantart account. However, I haven't touched that account for almost a year and I am constantly having the artist's block to make a new artwork (although they are not the best to begin with). I feel my account is being neglected at the moment. Either way, I have been noticing my "character" to be less human and more robotic. Each day is like a constant routine to me now. Either I go to school and study or I play video games on free times. Since I play video games, shouldn't I still have some artistic character left? I thought that could be it several years ago. Sadly no since I am playing a product of someone else's imagination instead of creating a product of my own. It's like my imagination became linear, following the creator's art instead of spreading like branches on a tree. I can't think beyond the creator's art, only within it. As an artist, it feels disgraceful when one merely copies another person's art due to lack of motivation.

This lack of creativity seems to correlate with my motivation. So now my question is this: is there really a job I can be passionate in? With the economy today, is a passionate job a good gamble compared to a well-paying (or even stable) job? The answer is not easy to come by. I am okay with the career I'm working for. However, to say I'm passionate about it is a lie. I never seem to remember doing something that I'm passionate about, to do something that you are happy doing regardless you get paid or not. So while I'm trying to answer my own questions, I remembered something simple, something I almost forgot and couldn't stand forgetting. It's December. The month of joy. The month of giving. The month of Christmas. From there, I decided to set my questions aside and remember what I listed in my Thanksgiving thankful list. I have my family and my friends. People who see me not as a number but as a person in this world. I may not be as motivated as before but I hope they will be my motivation to move forward, as far as I can until I find my own passion in life. Always remember what you have because that may be your motivation to live on.

Out of all this, there is a song that came out around this time last year that reminded me of what is important. So I share with you what I always listen to regain my motivation in life. And just in case I can't make it back for Christmas, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

How do you know you're old?

Age. Something we keep track of each year yet at some point, we started not caring about it anymore. We stopped thinking about it and continued on with our work life, thinking the people and environment around us stays the same. Well, at least that is what I am experiencing. Just one week ago was my cousin's birthday. Because we live in two different cities and our age difference is by eight years, it is easy for me to just see her as a child, forever younger than me. That is until one week ago when I realized she turned thirteen. She is finally a teenager which leaves me feeling older than I thought I was. I always pictured her as that young little girl with pigtails and a pink tutu. Now she is heading towards high school. Time flies really fast. I felt somewhat upset that there are many things occurring and I didn't take the time to stop and enjoy it. Another time I realized I was older is when I watch one of my favorite popstar Britney Spears. I rarely see her new music videos. Her first three albums are what I usually listen to. However, I just watched her latest video with Will. I. Am. ("Scream and Shout") and discovered that not only is Britney no longer a young adult, she really look like a full grown woman. Now I'm not trying to say she looks wrinkly and old. She isn't but she no longer is the young big smile teen I knew before. She's growing old. I'm growing old too. It really is a small shock how much time has passed. So what does this mean? It means we need to make more memorable moments. We need to sometimes drop our work and just enjoy life (or at least go out and realized what's outside our windows). I'm currently in my last year of college. After this, I will have to start working. True, I need to worry about building up my applications either for a job or graduate school, but I'm also spending extra time with friends. Live life while we still have the energy (and money) to do so.