Ending 2013

Can't believe it's the end of the year already. I know for sure I created this account before the starting of 2013 but right now, I feel as though it's a one year anniversary for this blog. I didn't really take this blogging seriously until the very beginning of January. Even now, considering the frequency of my entries, I think I still don't take it as seriously as I thought I would but that is okay. I'm still learning how to blog and hope that I will improve this new year. Right now, I like to review back my progress of my 2013.

2013 is (and will always be) one of my life changing years. It is the year I graduated out of college and began my adulthood. It is the year when I started this blog. It is the year I learn about my faults and my strengths. It is definitely a time when I learn I am an individual who can't live under my parents anymore. [Warning: summary of many previous entries ahead]

In the beginning of the year, I thought I would graduate out of college and begin my pharmacy school (or any grad school) application. Not wanting to lose many friends similar to my high school graduation, I tried planning ways to stay in contact with my college friends. I thought everything was planned out beautifully. However, I learned many of my limits. My GPA was not exactly beautiful. As for meeting up with friends, a two-hour drive to meet them was not a very good idea, especially when I am jobless and wish to not spend too much money. I still keep in contact with them via Facebook and texting. Still one can't just wander in life and free load off one's parents. A plan needs to be made. My parents took advantage of my "free time" by taking me to visit my old relatives outside the US. It was an interesting experience to learn about your relatives from an adult's perspective, compared to my previous experience as just a student. Now I returned to my home. I began taking online classes for another license exam. I even started signing up for volunteer hours. And to my luck, my job application was still under reviewing after two weeks (better than having a rejection notice). Through out all that personal drama, I was trying out blogging, forcing myself to think of other stuff besides my current worries. With that said, this is how my 2013 will be ending.

It was a tough year personally. I am pretty sure there are people out there who might think I was useless or I could have done better planning. Honestly, I agree with them. My poor planning has led me to this result and I am still a little upset with it. However, no matter who we are or what troubles we have, we all have to keep moving forward. Why keep crying over spilled milk?  I am thankful that I have parents that are willing to support me even though I am an adult physically and still mentally dependent. They are always slowly teaching me many life lessons. I am thankful I have this blog to force me to think of previous work and remind me to not give up. I am thankful of my friends who supported me even when I changed my career path. I am really a lucky girl.

Is there anything I currently wish for? Well, besides the obvious (getting employed and actually finding a good career), I do wish I can tell the next generation many things.

#1. No matter what we plan for our future, there will always be some failures. That is okay. We learn from them and change accordingly. I believe people become successful not from accomplishing every planned milestone but from adapting one's plan to any situation and obstacle. As we all know, some of the most successful people were college drop-outs.

#2. Understand your priorities. I meant this personally, not priorities thrust upon by seniors (aka parents, teachers, etc.). One always have certain priorities and might need time to learn them. One might think it is a hobby, a certain person, or even a career. How do you know if they really are your priorities? Best way I can think of to answer that is to ask oneself comparison questions. Would you go to a big party with friends or to a family reunion? Would you prefer working longer hours for more money or having more personal time and learning to save? Would you rather work for long hours for only 5 days a week or work for shorter hours for 7 days? Everyone has different priorities, none better than others. Knowing them will help greatly in planning for one's future.

#3. Take a task that ends with learning a new personal skill. (I thank my dad's colleague for this advice) When taking upon a task, it is best to gain a personal skill from it. Whether we like the task or not (ex. an education class when studying to be a doctor, or working in a fast food place when wanting to work in an office), there are always skills to be learned. Some are nice to put on a resume but at the end of the day, those skills are what helps in finishing any jobs.

Okay. I think I said [typed?] enough. That's one long essay to read. Thank you very much if you managed to read all that. Now it is the time to take out a drink (coffee, hot chocolate, beer, wine, soda, etc) and cheers to a new year.

Here is to 2014! Happy New Year!

Holiday #6: No Christmas?

It seems awkward to think of a family who doesn't celebrate Christmas. On the other hand, it shouldn't be awkward since my family don't celebrate other holidays like Easter or July 4th so in a way, I have no right to call anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas awkward. Either way, my family often celebrates Christmas (to a certain extent).  However, due to multiple members' catching the flu, my family had to set out on Christmas this year. No Christmas tree. No decorations. No family dinner. Everyone is too sick to get out of bed. Still, how can one forget Christmas if there are reminders everywhere? Stuck indoors with cough medicine beside, I imagine what I will be missing this Christmas.

As a child, I always look forward to Christmas. There was the long winter break, the festive decorations, the festive music, and, last but not least, the presents. When I was a kid, Christmas time was the only time when I can get anything I want (besides birthdays but that always occurs on either STAR testing days or AP testing days :( ). My parents would spoil me, allowing me to get any one gift within budget. Usually the gifts were toys but soon it transformed into video games (because toys are a hassle to clean up). Those were fun times. As a grew older, Christmas time reminds me more of family gatherings - the awful times when one meets with other relatives and they ask constant questions regarding school grades, boyfriends, and (just recently) employment. Who doesn't love family gatherings? I was not looking forward to such gatherings this year. However, now that I [miraculously] avoided it, I tend to miss it. Without the decorations, music, and events, Christmas end up like... any other boring day.

Christmas is a special event whether it is a day for religious people to celebrate their religion or a time for people to spoil themselves with not rational excuse. It is a holiday to cheer people up. And if one does not celebrate Christmas for reasons mentioned above, at least it is a time for breaking boring daily routines, exhilarating one's life [momentarily], and counting one's earnings for the year. A wonderful holiday even for Mr. Scrooge.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everybody!

Trapped Souls...

Once upon a time, a young gamer graduated out of college and was searching for a job. Being jobless for a very long time, he was getting bored with his life very much. The job market was being harsh and his patience was decreasing along with his self-esteem. Barely anyone wants to hire him, regardless if he was a college graduate. It almost felt like the world did not want him. That his life was meaningless and losing his life will not stop the world from spinning.

One day, a dear friend of his introduced the young gamer to a new game. The dear friend claimed that it was no ordinary game and it will change his life forever. That he will never forget this special piece of artwork. So the gamer decided to try it out. Why not? He thought. There was nothing to lose and his boredom and unemployment were digging into his ego. He might as well detach from reality just for a short moment to relieve some stress. So he downloaded the game and started his small adventure.

On his little adventure, he met a woman by the name Felicia. Although the gamer never met her personally, he felt connected to her due to their roles in the game. However, while playing the game, the gamer realized a terrible truth. Felicia, a mere NPC, was suffering in the game. She was forced to experience her death countless times when many other players play the game. No matter if she loves or dislikes her role, she was forced to follow the game's plan to die countless times in front of the players and forget any memory of her previous deaths.  The young gamer could not accept her fate. He could not accept knowing an innocent soul had to go through such tragedies just because she was "designed" that way. He wanted to set her soul free, giving her free will and allowing her to live with no pain. So, the gamer set on a quest to figure out how to set her free. He tried many options and at some point, even talked to Felicia herself. Felicia was very pleased to know the gamer cares for her and tries to save her life. However, after many tries, the gamer confessed to Felicia that he was failing quite miserably for he could not figure a solution. Felicia appreciated his effort. She told the gamer it was okay and she understood her fate. She was happy enough that the gamer acknowledged her existence. With no other choice, the gamer bid farewell to the damsel in distress and saw her died once more. The gamer left the game alone after that. Although she remained trapped in the game, at least she was pain free.

The gamer returned to his regular life again, searching for employment while finding other things to rid his boredom, but he would never forget Felicia and hope one day another player can set her free.

http://paperdino.com/games/save-the-date/

MIND BLOWN! PEEEUUWWWW!!!!! 

When the hour glass finishes...

At some point in one's life, another person's life finishes. It is an unavoidable event and usually unexpected. For a person as old as I am, I have to say I am very fortunate not to have any one close to me pass away. However, that doesn't mean I am blessed to not have to suffer the loss. As stated, it is unavoidable and so my time of loss will come soon. Still the topic got me thinking. It isn't the first time I thought of this topic (and I don't expect it to be my last). 

The first time I thought of this was when a friend of my sibling suffered cardiac arrest. It was really unexpected for the friend was very healthy not too long before the incident. Many teachers and friends were very shocked. The next few deaths I heard were of suicides of acquaintances. These deaths will always remain a mystery and coming to closure were hard. During those times, I didn't understand. I didn't know how to respond to those news for the people weren't involved in my life.

Recently I had a few distant relatives passed away. I didn't really feel upset but that is caused by my lack of bonding time with those relatives. Besides these relatives, the father of a friend of mine also just recently passed away. So I couldn't help but think: how would I react if someone close to me passes away? Will I cry loudly? Or would I remain quiet? How long will it take for me to recover? These questions can't be answered until I experience the event... On the other hand, do I want these questions answered? It's hard to say. However, in my opinion, it's never too late to be prepared. Now, I'm not saying to go buy a gravestone and coffin right now. That is very depressing. No, I'm talking about having a mind set to help oneself move on when the time comes. So here's what I think will help me for that future.

First, it's necessary to remind oneself that the world continues to spin. Time might feel like it stopped but sadly that is not true. There's no pause button so everyone has to pick him/herself up as soon as possible. A vacation from work might be a good idea but at some point, one needs to return to work. How can we get used to living without the deceased if we are not continuing living our normal life?

Second, it will help a lot to be prepared for paying the burial cost. It is understandable that deaths are unexpected and to think of such topic is almost taboo. However, I would feel totally ashamed if I can't afford to give my loved one a proper burial. So that means I need to leave a small share of savings for such event. Knowing that my loved one can have a decent burial comforts at least maybe 1% of the heart. Sometimes having faith in a religion helps.

Third, never forget the happy moments. Is it weird that we usually think of happy moments when the person is gone and not when he or she is present? There's always a regret. From wishing to say "thank you" to "I'm sorry," there are many things we wish we could do before the person left. Sadly, we don't know the state of our loved ones' hour glasses. Sometimes we think we have all the time in the world and procrastinate in showing our love. This advice might also help in regular life. Always think positively about everyone. It is hard but possible. Once we think of the person in a positive manner, we will compliment and thank them more often automatically. Also each moment with them is another beautiful memory. So when the time comes, there's less regrets and more wishes for a happy afterlife.

I know. They all sound cheesy and how would a girl who barely experienced such loss give such an advice?! Well, I don't know what to say. This is my thoughts, my view when someone I know lost someone. I don't know if these advice will help pick someone back on their feet. However, I think this is just a good reminder. Maybe it doesn't work on others and this will end up being a note to myself to help me get back on my own feet. Either way, may the Lord (or the diety of your religion) bless the deceased and bring them to the afterlife in peace.

Finding Your Past in Your Present

It is redundant. I said it before and I will say it again. Always remember where you came from. It makes us who we are. Well, instead of remembering, I decided to revisit where I came from.

So cloudy!

This is the city where I was raised. Honestly, I didn't go back because I want to relive my memories. I went back [against my will] to visit my relatives. Being a college graduate, my parents thought it would be nice to visit them in case I get a job that doesn't allow much vacation days. Plus I'm growing old and my grandparents are growing old. Better to visit them before it's too late (knock on wood).

The trip was quite interesting. Almost everyday, I was visiting a relative or a family friend. If I'm free, my parents would be forcing me to go shopping, thinking I need to renew my wardrobe. It was really busy. Besides having lots of family reunions, I got to revisit many places from my childhood, from shopping malls to restaurants. However, there is something I didn't expect from my trip. I experienced culture shock... from the city where I grew up! It was very stressful when I experienced culture shock from moving to the United States. Now experiencing it again but from where I came from, I realized how much I grew and adapted to the western culture. Everything is new again. I found out my tiny primary school has moved to a bigger building. My old apartment has finished renovation. There's now a Disneyland there too!... but I didn't get to go there. Taxi drivers are aggressive and MTRs can get seriously packed. I'm learning many new things again.

Many relatives and family friends asked me the same question: "If necessary, will you be able to live here again?" I automatically answered yes. I believe I can adapt to living there again. Sadly, I don't know if I want to. If I live there, I have to give up my coffee and milk tea addiction since coffee and milk tea taste a lot stronger. I also have to give up driving due to horrific traffic. Although I know I can deal with the hustle of a busy city life, I don't think I want to return there for a living... Maybe for vacations only.