I never thought about giving advice. Initially, I was planning to bring up positive (and maybe a few negative) memories in my blog to help any one to enjoy his or her life... at least make it more tolerable. However, there are times where bringing up memories don't help. Instead it might do the opposite. It might bring up unsolved feelings because whatever happened was never solved to begin with. It was only pushed aside thanks to work or other daily needs. After talking to a few friends, I came to realize that some people don't know how to handle these stressful situations and might need a little help to get the thinking gears working. Because of this, I decided to type up a small advice column this time.
So what are "sad feelings"? Well, to be specific, I'm actually talking about any feelings of stress. This includes frustration, anger, sadness, and even jealousy. Basically, if you are not happy or in any positive emotions, I count that as you are sad. Remember though, feeling depress or stress is not a bad thing. It keeps us cautious and help us learn for our future. A good stressing moment here and there helps us to work hard. However, sometimes we get so caught up with our emotions, we forget to work and move on. Moving on is not hard actually. It is the working part that is hard. If we can't work out the problem, how can we move on?
Now you have identified that you are sad (if you are happy, you may continue to read to teach someone else). Why are you still in the depression gutter? Our sad emotions are usually caused by our lack of knowledge to a solution. In other words, we are usually sad because we don't know what to do to solve our problems. And because we don't know what to do and we constantly think of the problem, we tend to feed our sadness even more. It is a vicious cycle of depression. If you think about it, it is somewhat true. If you know how to solve your problem, you wouldn't be sad to begin with, right? The reason for you to remain sad after finding a solution is because you need encouragement and reinforcement that your solution WILL solve the problem. So you don't know how to solve your problem under your sadness. What do you do? The best advice I can give is: write it out. You first write out how you feel. This helps you identify and accept your current emotion. Then write out what the problem is. Why are you stress? What happen? If possible, write a whole story. Writing involves putting thoughts in a linear form. It forces you to organize your ideas, picking out important events while deleting what you think is unnecessary. Last write out a plan to solve your problem. "Are you serious? You bluntly want me to write out a solution after making write a whole chapter of my depression?" Yes, I'm serious. Writing helps relieve a bit of stress. Now you should be able to think a little more clearly. If you can't think of a solution, do research. Go see a counselor if you have problems with classes. Go find a professional that can teach you a skill that you think you need to solve the problem. Whatever it may be, just try to find a solution.
You got your solution plan. Now you can either get someone to revise it or follow your solution right away. I recommend finding someone to revise your solution. Don't find a close friend who would ALWAYS agree with whatever you say. No, we don't want that. We want smart friends who think from many sides of a story. These friends can sometimes bring up extra problems you might encounter. Sometimes they might offer a different solution you might never thought of. Sometimes you might even argue with them, but you might be convinced that their solution or your own solution is better. Having a friend to revise your problem keeps your mind open. You will understand your problem a little better and you might find alternative solutions in case your first one didn't succeed. Now follow that solution plan you finalized!
The main goal is to stay open minded and writing out the stress. Not all situations are easy to solve and some may not even have a solution. However, writing out the problem can help relieve stress and organize one's thoughts. So start a blog or a journal. Maybe start painting if you prefer another medium. Try figuring out a solution to a problem. If the problem involves a person, try to think of the situation in his or her point of view. Life is unfair but the world is not full of jerks. After this exercise, I'm pretty sure you would be [at least partially] stress free. However, don't take my blog too seriously. If you already have your own method, by all means, keep going! I'm just offering one kind of method. If you think this method is not working for you, find another method or see a counselor, a psychologist, or an adviser. You can't always be happy but that doesn't mean you should stay sad. Good luck to you and stay positive.
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