So two years ago, I typed an entry about losing friends and getting new ones. It makes sense that we constantly change friends, whether it's due to living area or life events. No matter what we will face that problem. However, just a few weeks ago, I heard from my sis that her friend understands that idea as well (she doesn't read my blogs though) and that friend ended up not caring about her own friends anymore. She just assumes that she'll get new ones whom she will care for a while and then give up on them because she thinks they'll unfriend her. Now I understand that friends do come and go, and it's inevitable. However, should we just give up on friends that easily?
Friends are people we are fond of hanging out with. We share happy and sad moments. We encourage or discourage each others' acts (depending on the situation). At some times, we seek each other's advice. Friends are people whom we are happy to be with and the only price for friendship is time. If I had to make a scale to display price and the type of relationship it follows, I say material prices such as money, gifts, and deeds, are prices for business partners. As for regular friendship, it will be time because we don't expect too much from friends other than their support and companionship. Now if we do expect gifts and materials from friends, I think we need to get our priorities straight. We are getting off topic here so let's return to the initial question.
Friends come and go, so should we just give up on having friends? It depends on what you desire. If you desire gifts and deeds, then yes, you should give up since you obviously can find other people to do that for you for a temporary amount of time. In other words, you are a sugar baby regardless if that person funding you is your boy/girl friend or just a friend. However, if you desire actual long lasting friendships and support without caring for the gifts that follows, then you shouldn't be giving up so easily. First of all, we know any type of relationship - business, friends, or sexual - takes time to build. How can you keep calling people you hang around as your friends if you keep giving up on the idea of friends?
In my sis's friend's situation, she wants friends. She claims that she is lonely and she doesn't have that much friends. However, when a person asked her to hang out, she will only go out if she is "in the mood." Of course, that makes sense. All of us would only hang out if we have the mood for it. However, should we follow that rule all the time? What if your friend just lost a family member and need someone to talk to, should we put ourselves above your friend's needs? This is where our priorities come into play. It's okay to refuse a talk or hang out but do remember that this shows your friends that you placed your priorities somewhere else. And if your excuse is just your mood and nothing else, it can be really upsetting to your friend, knowing that you placed your comfort over your friend's needs. So exactly what is the problem here? This friend only talks or hang out when she is in the mood. She stated, "if online (instant messenger or Facebook) and I am away or busy, it means I am in no mood to talk." So my sis asked "why not just put it on offline?" That makes sense. We are not always in the mood for attention so what is the reason to notify people you are online but you are in no mood to talk? Why REFUSE the offline option? In the beginning, my sis and I were not exactly sure why she did that and we disregard it as a preference. However, once my sis had a serious personal issue (no, not about gossiping how someone mistreated her. We are talking about SERIOUS issue) and she need a friend to talk, that friend repeated her statement how she is in no mood to talk. And she wonders why she can't get long time friends...
Now tell me. Did I misunderstood something? Friends remain friends because we sacrifice (at least) a small amount of time for them. Does this girl really have an issue? or am I having priority issues? I would love to type more detail about my sis's conversation with her friend. However, not everyone wants a full detail of the story unless interested. So, FRIENDS, what do they mean to you?
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