It has been a while since I typed up an entry about my apartment mate. The reason: she moved out of our apartment. However, the story that led to that event was interesting. I think interesting enough to at least get an entry. So I hope you enjoy the epic conclusion/summary to my apartment life horror.
The last entry was at October 2012. However the event in that entry occurred in the summer of that year. From September to December 2012, there was quite a few drama. In the beginning of summer, there were three girls in the building: me, Blondie (my sis), and Wavy. There were drama during the summer but there were similar to my previous entries, so we will skip them. By September, a new mate moves in because our building holds four people maximum and it was the beginning of a new academic year. I call this new mate Red. From my perspective, Red is a unique mate. She was majoring in international studies and actually took an interest in the Japanese culture. Now I don't want to name her nationality, but to give a good picture, her nationality and my nationality are very different. Although our cultures have similarities, due to a language barrier, our nationalities [usually] don't get along. So the fact that Red actually majors in international studies, specifically in an Asian culture, I have to give her some credit.
Now Red and Wavy actually are the same nationality, so it was normal that Wavy wanted to bond with her. Blondie and Red also had a good relationship so this new mate is quite a keeper. Now I'll be honest, I'm not close to Red. I probably was the least close to her but we never had any trouble with each other so we were on good terms. A few months into the new academic year, I became distant to my apartment mates because I have more school activities that require attending. However, both Blondie and Red told me there were some issues in the apartment. I don't know when I became the leader/go-to person for this situation. Maybe it was because I was the oldest one (college senior). So a small meeting was made between the three of us and apparently there were issues with Wavy. The main issue was the dirty kitchen. I don't really want to blame Wavy too much for that. Among all of us, I am the only one who actually previously lived in the apartment. Everyone else was new to the independent lifestyle. Because of that, I excused Wavy many times on hygiene. It takes time to learn to do chores as a habit, without force. Besides the cleanliness, (I don't know how we end up like this) there were awkward moments between Wavy and everyone else, especially me. I often disregard it because if the issue was only between Wavy and I, then I should just suck it up and keep the peace in this household. However, now that Red and Blondie confessed to me, I really thought there was an issue. So I tried setting several roommate meetings to address the issue but Wavy's schedule doesn't seem to work out with ours. I just let the situation go. Sadly that didn't help. Tension was building up and I don't know what exactly is the main problem. Is cleanliness really the big deal??
I gave up. I was inexperienced with this and so I emailed my apartment adviser (college student placed in charge of students in certain apartments). I explained the severity of the tension in the household. Thanks to the adviser, she was able to contact each one of us and set up a personal meeting before a general meeting. In Blondie and my personal meeting (we went together), I only mentioned cleanliness and Wavy's slight insecurities. From what I observed, Wavy's dialect often sounds soft and sympathetic. At the same time, she often looks sad, almost victimized (I don't know a better word for it). I just assumed she's sensitive. Wavy and Red each had their own private personal meetings. So the general meeting came. The adviser specifically said she was nothing more than a proctor looking over the meeting. She was not going to speak for any of us and we each need to speak up everything we feel important. So each of us spoke our perspective to the problem. I confessed about the cleanliness and Wavy's sensitivity. Because this event took place one year ago, I can't remember what Blondie and Red said. For Wavy, she said she felt like she was attacked from all three of us. She felt as though the three of us are leaving her out in many events. So we all discussed about this issue. I apologized to Wavy about leaving her but it can't be helped. For me, I had club events and night classes that left my returning to the apartment by 10 pm for majority of the weekdays. So not only was I neglecting Wavy, I'm also neglecting my other mates and I understand that is a problem. The meeting was going smoothly until Wavy stated something I never thought I heard. Wavy stated that she was actually clean and was purposely leaving the kitchen dirty as a retaliation. Yes, you read it correctly. She was PURPOSELY leaving the kitchen dirty. So what was she retaliating? She felt ignored by Blondie and I during the summer. She thought we hated her. When Red arrived, Wavy felt Blondie and I were purposely impressing Red to like us and not Wavy.
WHAT THE F***?!?!?!? Never in my life did I have someone angered me so much. Now I understand what you are thinking. That can't be right. You were exaggerating. You were probably hearing what you wanted to hear for an excuse to hate her. I wish that was true. However, I have three other witnesses in that meeting and trust me, when Wavy made that statement, everyone's eyes were on her... some wide opened. I had so much anger boiling in me, I could have split the table all five of us were sitting at into two... and that is just the first blow of anger. I would MINCE the table into splinters just to rid the rest of the anger. I was actually giving her excuses for her actions. I was supporting her when Red and Blondie confronted me. I was trying to make her look like a good person in front of the other two and now I realized that she was that LOW. Even now, just restating the memory is boiling my heart... But we can't do that... we are all gentle ladies in a very important meeting. We must be in our best behavior (while clenching our fists and hearts and displaying a fake smile). So being a "gentle" lady, I asked Wavy how I made her feel neglected. Wavy stated how when she first moved in, I rarely came out of my room. I barely do any activities with her. She wanted to have dinners together with everyone and always have time to chat...everyday... She wanted me to say hi to her everyday. And if I don't see her and her door is closed, I was to knock and say hi anyways. Because I don't "hang out" with her, she thinks I automatically hate her and that goes the same with Blondie. When Red arrives, Wavy thinks Blondie and I gossip to her so she wouldn't hang out with Wavy.
Man... this girl really has issues. Be aware that this insecurities started in the summer without Red. Well, I didn't say any of the following stuff but now I wish I did. First of all, she automatically thinks I hate her just because I don't hang out with her during the summer. We just moved in together. We barely know each other for a month (2 months if you count the whole summer) and she expects me to hang out with her regularly? Also she comes up to my room and Blondie's room (separate rooms on the third floor, one above hers). It was as though she never noticed both our rooms' doors are closed. Blondie and I rarely hang out together. Only time we hang out was dinner (not lunch!). And every time she opens my door for somethings, she would see me working. With all these incidents, she actually never considered me busy or an introvert? As for eating together, I usually have Blondie cook my dinner because I'm just that lazy (I admit it). However, I'm not picky since beggars can't be choosers. Plus I usually pay for those groceries. Wavy doesn't like eating Blondie's cooking style. As for us, Blondie and I are okay with Wavy's cooking but we don't prefer just that kind of meal everyday (another nationality barrier I guess). And since I didn't pay for Wavy's groceries, it is impolite to constantly eat her food supply. Once or twice is fine but regularly? No. When Red came along, she was very diverse. She was okay with both Blondie's and Wavy's style of cooking. So she actually can eat with either of us... yet Wavy considered it as a way for Blondie and I to take Red away from her?
So here's my concluding opinion: Wavy is a self-centered crying woman. There were other incidents I didn't talk about that support my opinion. Overall, I realized never once did she ever thought about me or my life style. She thinks everyone automatically are friends when living under roof. If a person isn't hanging out with her, probably that person hates her even if there's no reason behind it yet. She thinks that having a person hate her is a good reason to act rudely to that person, even if she didn't find support that the person hates her to begin with. She thinks leaving the kitchen is a good retaliation. The word "introvert" is nonexistent in her vocabulary. And if she cries, she's automatically the victim and should be correct in any manner (by the way, she cried during the whole general meeting).
In the end, the adviser and my mates couldn't find a way to kick her out of the apartment. Instead our pipes started making sounds, disrupting Wavy's sleep. In the winter, the pipes make weird sounds due to their expanding from the hot water running in them. After one winter break (and Wavy's complaint to the adviser about the pipes), the plumbers tried breaking down the walls and replacing the pipe in her room. They completed their jobs and left. However, the sounds were still there (and even louder in my room for odd reasons). So Wavy had enough of it. She complained to the adviser and so the adviser searched for her a new apartment. She moved out at her own will. Let me restate that: she moved out at HER OWN WILL. And thus, peace was brought back (I never knew it left) to the household after March.
And if you think Wavy isn't bad, let me tell you a side story that happen afterwards. Blondie and Red both saw Wavy on campus several times. Suppose those three had a good relationship compare to mine (because apparently Wavy has problems with extreme introverts) yet when Blondie and Red waved hi, (according to those two) Wavy gave a dirty look and ignored them... Yeah... this woman. I don't give props to this woman but I do give props to her boyfriend. He must be really awesome to have to deal with this issue.
So cheers to a new life! Glad that's off my chest!
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