Holiday #6: No Christmas?

It seems awkward to think of a family who doesn't celebrate Christmas. On the other hand, it shouldn't be awkward since my family don't celebrate other holidays like Easter or July 4th so in a way, I have no right to call anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas awkward. Either way, my family often celebrates Christmas (to a certain extent).  However, due to multiple members' catching the flu, my family had to set out on Christmas this year. No Christmas tree. No decorations. No family dinner. Everyone is too sick to get out of bed. Still, how can one forget Christmas if there are reminders everywhere? Stuck indoors with cough medicine beside, I imagine what I will be missing this Christmas.

As a child, I always look forward to Christmas. There was the long winter break, the festive decorations, the festive music, and, last but not least, the presents. When I was a kid, Christmas time was the only time when I can get anything I want (besides birthdays but that always occurs on either STAR testing days or AP testing days :( ). My parents would spoil me, allowing me to get any one gift within budget. Usually the gifts were toys but soon it transformed into video games (because toys are a hassle to clean up). Those were fun times. As a grew older, Christmas time reminds me more of family gatherings - the awful times when one meets with other relatives and they ask constant questions regarding school grades, boyfriends, and (just recently) employment. Who doesn't love family gatherings? I was not looking forward to such gatherings this year. However, now that I [miraculously] avoided it, I tend to miss it. Without the decorations, music, and events, Christmas end up like... any other boring day.

Christmas is a special event whether it is a day for religious people to celebrate their religion or a time for people to spoil themselves with not rational excuse. It is a holiday to cheer people up. And if one does not celebrate Christmas for reasons mentioned above, at least it is a time for breaking boring daily routines, exhilarating one's life [momentarily], and counting one's earnings for the year. A wonderful holiday even for Mr. Scrooge.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everybody!

Holiday #2.5: Catching up with time

Oh my goodness? When is the last time I had an entry? It has been 2 weeks but it feels like years. Anyways, sorry for my late entry again. A week ago, I had my finals and this coming Friday, I'm having another big exam that might influence my life forever. With so many things happening in my life, I'm starting to question my effort. I have been studying for quite some time towards my goal in the medical field. However, after each college year, I feel less motivated than I was the year before. Usually I am very artistic. Every week I would draw a picture or every few months I would post an artwork on my Deviantart account. However, I haven't touched that account for almost a year and I am constantly having the artist's block to make a new artwork (although they are not the best to begin with). I feel my account is being neglected at the moment. Either way, I have been noticing my "character" to be less human and more robotic. Each day is like a constant routine to me now. Either I go to school and study or I play video games on free times. Since I play video games, shouldn't I still have some artistic character left? I thought that could be it several years ago. Sadly no since I am playing a product of someone else's imagination instead of creating a product of my own. It's like my imagination became linear, following the creator's art instead of spreading like branches on a tree. I can't think beyond the creator's art, only within it. As an artist, it feels disgraceful when one merely copies another person's art due to lack of motivation.

This lack of creativity seems to correlate with my motivation. So now my question is this: is there really a job I can be passionate in? With the economy today, is a passionate job a good gamble compared to a well-paying (or even stable) job? The answer is not easy to come by. I am okay with the career I'm working for. However, to say I'm passionate about it is a lie. I never seem to remember doing something that I'm passionate about, to do something that you are happy doing regardless you get paid or not. So while I'm trying to answer my own questions, I remembered something simple, something I almost forgot and couldn't stand forgetting. It's December. The month of joy. The month of giving. The month of Christmas. From there, I decided to set my questions aside and remember what I listed in my Thanksgiving thankful list. I have my family and my friends. People who see me not as a number but as a person in this world. I may not be as motivated as before but I hope they will be my motivation to move forward, as far as I can until I find my own passion in life. Always remember what you have because that may be your motivation to live on.

Out of all this, there is a song that came out around this time last year that reminded me of what is important. So I share with you what I always listen to regain my motivation in life. And just in case I can't make it back for Christmas, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!